Leaving Albania via Macedonia and entering Bosnia and Herzegovina

Visited Berat Fortress (aka “The White City” - a large fortress on a hill in Albania where the architects were idiots and designed the whole place, streets and buildings, out of white limestone. I get that it was rock from the local area, but it is usually 105+F degrees in the Berat (even 10 centuries ago) and slippery, blindly white stones only increase the heat and are painful to the eyes. I have no idea how the villagers handled the city in the olden days if it rained, as we were slipping on the smooth stoned pathways going uphill in the sunshine. 

Berat used to be a bustling city of XXX people, but now only about 350 people live inside the Fortress walls, most of them are the older generation, as their children have moved down the hill since all the major schools, markets, doctors, etc. are situated in the valley below. The town is also nicknamed, “Town of 10,000 Windows”, as all the rooms in every building has multiple windows - bedrooms have 4-5 windows instead of the normal 2 or 3. Looking up at the buildings from the valley, it seems like all the houses flow into one another. 

The Osum River runs through the valley, segregating the 2 lower towns of Berat, and flowing past the 2 mountain ranges on either side of the Fortress. Legend says that once there were two brothers who both fell in love with a woman named Osum. When they realized they both wanted to marry the same girl, neither would concede their proposal, so they fought each other to the death: one was stabbed and one was shot. God was mad at the brother’s pettiness, so he turned the siblings into the nearby mountain ranges where one has slashes in the side and the other has a crater on the top. 

As for Osum, she got a bum deal; God told her she could see both brothers for eternity, but never be held again - he was going to turn her into the hill in the middle of the mountains that the Fortress now sits on. When Osum heard of her fate, she cried so much that her tears became the Osum River, and she is still crying today as the river is constantly flowing. The Ottoman’s God is vengeful.

After touring the whole White City, Louise organized a traditional Albania meal from a local restaurant in the Fortress. Again, this country seems to think people have 3 stomachs. Plate, after plate, of meat stuffed pumpkin, spicy eggplant, tomato and cucumber salad, appeared before the main course of baked lamb and chicken on a rice pilaf. The chicken and eggplant were very tasty (and all the Aussie’s loved the lamb, or possibly goat), but Albanian food is not a favorite of mine. Less agreeable or less pleasantly mixed flavors in dishes and strange consistencies of foods; one of the best veggie dishes resembled throw-up, but luckily tasted good.

Thoroughly stuffed, we hopped back in our van, which immediately lived up to its nickname (that I gave it) as “Narcoleptic Van”. We all seemed to nod off whenever we’re in it for longer than 15 minutes, and having full bellies did not help us stay awake. 2 1/2 hours later, we arrived in Kruje, a cute city on a hill with a small souk and, you guessed it, a Fortress. At Panoramic Hotel, we dropped our bags in our top floor room with a balcony over looking the Fortress and the valley below, before walking the closing souk and accompanying streets with Ann and Mary. Albania is a primarily Muslim country, so there were hardly any women walking around after sunset. All the coffee shops and restaurants held men drinking coffee and quietly chatting. 

Robby and I woke up early the next morning to explore the souk when it was open before meeting up with everyone else for a tour of the local museum, but we apparently woke up before even the shop sellers, so instead, we decided to climb to the top of the lookout tower at the Fortress and have a nice coffee before meeting the others. The museum guide said he wouldn’t give only 7 people a tour, so we settled for reading the semi ok English interpretation placards on the walls of the museum.

The museum is dedicated to Albania’s National hero - George Castriot Skanderbeg. In the 15th century, his father had a disagreement with the Ottomans (him being a Christian, not Muslim), so they took one of his 4 sons, Skanderbeg, as a blood tax. Skanderbeg was forced to convert to Islam and enroll in the Ottoman army. He fought against the Turks until he was 32-years-old, when he deserted during the Battle of Nis (along with 300 of his friends) and went back to Kruje. For the next 25 years, he lead an army of 10,000 Albanians in various rebellions against the Ottoman Empire. He protected his hometown of Kruje against 3 different attacks. He sadly died around 62 years of age, not from battle, but from Malaria. 

Across from the Skanderbeg museum was an ethnography museum - essentially an old Albania house with furnishings like the 1500’s, to give people an idea of how the Kruje people lived in the past. There was a large tour group with an English speaking guide wandering through all the rooms that Robby was excited to tag along with, but the rest of us tried to avoid any room they went into as a 10x10 space is quite uncomfortable stuffed with a bunch of people. Hearing about the history of the house was not worth being smothered.

Before driving to Montenegro, we had just enough time to pop our heads into the souk shops and see that most of the stuff was tourist trinkets - magnets, postcards, plaster Fortresses, but there was also pretty silver jewelry as well. We looked, but did not buy.

3 hours later, with a lovely 1.5 hour wait at the Albanian border exit, we arrived in Kotor, the City by the Bay. We did stop for 5 minutes to drool at st. Stephen XXX, a private island outside Budva, where you can’t step foot on the land without paying for a thousand dollar+ a night room at the hotel that covers 90% of the island. So, basically rich people and important people stay there while all us others daydream about what it would be like. 

Louise put us up in a nice apartment complex about a 15 minutes walk from Stari Grad (old town) in Kotor. Once we settled in, she lead us on a small orientation walk. We walked down the apartment driveway and ended up at the waterway. Most of the walking path was about 4 feet wide with restaurant tables on one side and the actual water on the other. Every time a bike or jogger came by, we were scared we’d get pushed into the lake. But the water was about 60 degrees and crystal clear. During the day, many locals and visitors set up their towels on the pebbled shores and head for a swim.

There’s over 1350 steps that lead to the top of the Fortress and an amazing viewpoint for the town and bay of Kotor. If we started hiking before 8am, there wouldn’t be a ticket guard asking for the $11 entry fee, so we all made a plan to head over there at 7am the following morning. For the evening, we ate local seafood and enjoyed Montenegro wine while listening to the waves lap against the stone walkway.

When 7am came the next morning, I did not leave my bed. I had spent most of the night in the bathroom and begrudgingly opted to sleep away my sickness. It sucked because I was the one who had been pressing everyone to hike the steps with me for days, even wanting to hike at 5am, so I could be at the top for sunrise, and here I was dying in a small studio apartment. Robby came back 4 hours later regaling me with tales of her grand off trail adventure of jumping through a 16th century church window and onto the old road of Kotor - literally the only way to the castle besides the steps since it was built 500 years ago. She explored all the house and church ruins near the steps and then came back to the Fortress grounds for the iconic picture at the top.

In the afternoon, I managed to make it to the apartment courtyard for an impromptu picnic lunch with everyone else. They’d all visited the farmers market after their hike and had piecemealed veggies, bread, salami, and fruit. The owner of the apartments donated a bottle of homemade wine (very sweet so Robby loved it), and we submitted chocolate. With food in my belly, I thought I was strong enough to make it to Old Town and maybe walk the steps. I instead made it half a mile from the apartment, stopping 3 times to rest and had to take a taxi back to the apartment after stocking up on medicine from the pharmacy. 

Robby and the Aussies went on a private history tour of Kotor while I tried to sleep, but instead made a pilgrimage to the local hospital for fluids and more drugs. Everyone said I had a 24-hour bug (possibly from accidentally drinking Albanian water), but I was paranoid. The 22-year-old doctor didn’t seem too worried when she saw me, so I shouldn’t have worried. Luckily the next morning, I was actually feeling 80% better and managed to walk to Old Town without stopping once. We went early since we were heading to Sarajevo at 10am and got to explore an almost empty town. What was apparently crowded with tourists the day before was peacefully void of foot traffic at 8 in the morning. 

On the way to Sarajevo, Louise surprised us with a 5 minute boat ride out to Our Lady of the Rocks church on a small manmade island off of Perast. In the 16th century two brothers saw the image of the Virgin Mother in the rocks of Perast, so they convinced the town to build a church in honor of Mary. But since everyone was building churches on land, the brothers started off a 200 year construction of an island built on the bones of broken ships and rocks where the church would live. When everything was finished in the 1700’s, people left gifts of silver or priceless art works in honor of the Holy Mother. It’s said that whomever leaves a silver trinket will have their ailments cure. I had truly wished I had silver on me when we went through the halls so I could walk away 100% better. Next time. 

We had a tradition Montenegro lunch - trout and veggies or lamb and potatoes with local wine, at Izlazak Etno Village. We essentially drove on a small road, where one car had to back up to let us pass, to reach a restaurant on top a hill over looking the most torequise lake I’ve ever seen. The lake is part of the Piva River and the “Piva” is solvic for beer; just kind of funny. Montenegro food is way tastier than Albania food and the beautiful setting helped make lunch a hit with everyone.

We drove for an hour until we hit the Bosnian border and a ton of traffic that didn’t move. Zejko said we could get out and have a coffee at the roadside cafe because he could see us in his slow crawl towards the checkpoint. 53 mins later we were through and weaving our way past a tree covered National forest and small villages on our way to Bosnia and Herzegovina’s capital. He arrived at dusk and had time to walk the souk and eat a good meal before calling it a night.

Macedonia with Lake Ohrid and Kruje

Drove from Skopje in the afternoon to Ohrid, an adorable resort city on the shore of Lake Ohrid in Macedonia. The drive took about 3 hours, so we didn’t get to town until twilight, but it was a beautiful sunset - reds blending into oranges, sinking below the Albanian mountain range across the lake. Louise set all of us up at Alekanders, an excellent restaurant 10 feet from the water and just off the start of the walking promenade in town.

All of us enjoyed some local Macedonia wine and beer while the Aussie’s ate meat things, Robby and I got to have delicious vegetables. It’s nice to eat something besides a tomato, cucumber, or chicken sometimes. After dinner we all walked along the water back to our swanky hotel - Villa Arte. Even though it’s at the far end of town (5 mins from the center of town) and you walk out the back door, through someone’s backyard, and down a sketchy looking street to the beach 25 yards away, the hotel is lovely. Comfortable patio chairs under a shaded awning and then a breakfast area set up in the main lobby with a 24 hour bar. We all enjoyed sharing travel experiences over post dinner drinks and ice cream in the hotel lobby, before bed. 

The following morning, Zejko, our van driver, elected to spend his 1 day off chauffeuring all of us to the tourist sites in the area (we would have had to paid $13 for the sightseeing boat otherwise). First stop was the Monastery of Saint Naum. Was established in 905 AD for the Bulgarian Empire by St. Naum himself (I don’t really know what he did, but people liked him). He is also buried on the grounds. His church resides on a hill overlooking the crystal clear blue water of Lake Ohrid and has a quarter mile tree lined road leading up to the front doors that conmen try to entrap tourist with paying for a cab to take. Along the road are souvenir shops, restaurants, lookout points, and live peacocks. 

There’s also a calm lake that only row boats are allow on, one in which the Aussies and us took to see underwater springs - bubbles coming up from the bottom of the 3 meter or less, lake floor. Since no swimming or motors are allowed in the lake (not Lake Ohrid), the water is extremely clear and a whole plant civilization thrives underwater. 

From the Monastery, we drove back to town, via a mini stop at the Bay of Bones - what was once a thriving city where people lived on reed islands on the water, is now only a small replica of one island with fake furnished houses and remains of bones from the animals the people ate (what anthropologists found when they dug up the society). I think there’s a mini museum as well, but none of us actually went to visit the site, we just stopped atop the hill to take pictures of the village and the lake, much to the dismay of Robby.

Back in town, instead of making us walk from Ohrid’s new town to Samuel’s Fortress, the capital for the first Bulgarian Empire back in the 10th century, Zejko kindly drove us to the start of the old city walls to begin our hike up hill. The large and empty Fortress sits on top a descent size hill at the end of old town and is a great lookout point for the whole city. The new city sits on the water, but for 1000’s of years there has been a town at the base of the Fortress, this town still exist today and is where we started walking half a mile to the outer walls of the Fortress for a 180 view of the surround areas. Lots of newer houses to one end, the lake and Albania in the middle, and the newer part of town at the other end. 

Robby and I had fun climbing up the watch towers and stopping at every crevice hide-E-hole that might have been used for storage or a bathroom, or a nap room at the Fortress. The torret at the top over looked all those wanting to enter the gates. Back on the ground, we descended through the forest, on the backend of the Fortress, to one of Ohrid’s most famous churches- Saint John at Kaneo. This Macedonian Orthodox Church resides on a cliff over looking Kaneo Bay on Lake Ohrid and was built sometime around the 1440’s. It’s dedicated to John of Patmos, the man who wrote the book of Revelations. The Church is made from red bricks layered between stones and topped with red tiles. A crowned torret sits in the center and arched window inlays surround the whole building. If there weren’t so many selfie stick, iPad snapping, moronic tourists about, it would have been a lovely place to sit and be one with your thoughts for a bit.

Since that wasn’t the case, we headed back to new town along the lake, walking across wobbly planks of wood and past delicious smelling seafood restaurants to the promenade. Robby and I stopped for huge scoops of homemade gelato that costs about $1.50 before sticking our heads in a few of the local silver and pearl shops. Apparently the famous Ohrid pearl is manmade using hand-me-down methods that might involve hand painting ground shells with an emulsion derived from fish scales. All I know is, the pearls are a lovely, shiny charcoal color and look nothing like the typical white kind posh people like to wear.

We didn’t buy anything, but sometimes it’s fun to browse. For the evening, we caught the tail end of sunset, the fiery ball sinking quickly below the Albanian mountains leaving streaks of red, orange, and yellow in its wake over the calm blue water. If I wasn’t so lazy, I would have walked the mile back to the Church just to photograph the sunset behind the building, but I’m on vacation and one more mile, after walking upwards of 10 miles a day for the past 2 weeks, is just one more mile too many. Although, Robby and I did decide to turn left at the water’s edge, instead of right (towards new town), and we ended up walking at least a mile along a modern walking, biking, running pathway bordered by a grass field on one side and the lake on the other. We finished the evening with a Macedonian pizza dinner - thickish dough with toppings. I had an amazing olive oil garlic pizza while Robby got tomato sauce and canned mushrooms. Not a top favorite pizza.

Devil’s Town to Skopje

Today, we visited Devil’s Town on the way out Serbia. Legend has it that there was a peaceful village up in the mountains where everyone lived happily, but of course, the Devil came and corrupted the people. A brother and sister wished to marry each other, but God told them it was wrong (along with all the neighboring towns). Instead of listening to anyone, the siblings proceeded with their wedding and on the wedding day, God had no choice but to turn the happy couple and all the guests into knobby, crooked, stalagmite looking rock formations. They now remain as a deterrent against wrong doings. 

In order to visit the rocks, we hiked through a lovely forrest area alongside a creek (which also happened to be swarming with mosquitoes) and then up 250 steps into burning sunlight. Even with the sunburn and the itchy bites we acquired, the rocks were interesting to see and located in a vast forest valley that stretched in every direction. Back at the entrance to the trail, a nice shop keeper let us try different variants of rakija - honey, mint, plum, etc. Most of them still taste like liquid fire, but the seller also sold syrupy fruit wines that were ok and would be delicious poured over ice cream. Robby and I each bought one.

We hopped back in the van and easily drove across the Serbian border and into Kosovo, a country that asked for its independence from Serbia in 1999, but only had it granted in 2008 with help from the United Nations. Serbians still do not recognize Kosovo as its own country and they’ve pulled all their ambassadors from all countries that do. Right now on 3 countries: Syria, Serbia, and one other country do not recognize it as its own place. So, us crossing the border was interesting because you can go from Serbia to Kosovo, but you can not go from Kosovo to Serbia. It would be like you sneaking into Serbia since the Kosovo stamp isn’t recognized on a passport.

We stopped in Pristina, a kind of cute town with, of course, a walking promenade. After realizing all the shops on the walking street were mostly touristic or restaurants, Robby and I found a semi cute coffee shop and tried Kosovo pizza; tastes like Boboli with tomato sauce and spicy peppers. 

We visited the National Kosovo library on the local University’s campus because of its unique architectural composition - like the designer thought that piling a bunch of metal and rock squares on top of each other in a ziggurat formation, then toping each square with a white opaque dome, and finishing by encasing the whole thing in metal mesh fencing, would look ok. The inside was surprisingly clean and kind of empty; an open foyer with a pretty star pattern on the floor, then stairs leading to quiet (pin dropping quiet) study rooms equipped with individual desks all lined in rows. We saw a few shelves with books, but I’m sure the main ones, on Kosovo’s history, are housed in the bowels of the building. 

There is also a Bill Clinton Blvd that ends at a statue honoring the man since he helped Kosovo (Serbia at the time) during their separation from Yugoslavia in 1999. We tried to find the statue, but ran out of time and energy to wander the traffic laden street when it was 85 degrees out and humid. So, back in the van we went and onwards to our third, and final, country for the day - Macedonia. We ended the day in the heart of downtown Skopje, the town of 200 statues, and the capital. 

Apparently no one wanted to come to Macedonia, (a country that’s only been around since 1991) so the government somehow got other people to donate lots of money to their country and instead of using the money to fix roads or build schools and houses, they did the sensible thing of creating over 200, 45-100+ foot bronze statues and placed them all around town to attract tourists. Much to the dismay of the Macedonian people, the ploy worked and tourists flocked to the city to see what creations were erected. 

The most notable statue is “Warrior on Horse”. It is really a statue of Alexander the Great riding his horse into battle, but Macedonia is not allow to say it is Alexander because they are in a copyrights war with Greece over anything that was/is considered Greek. So Greece has not given permission for the country of Macedonia to officially use the name, since it belongs to an old Greek Kingdom, and therefore Macedonia is technically call “the Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia”. Also, calling statues Greek names such as, “Alexander the Great”or his father, “Phillip II”, whom died over 2000 years ago, is forbidden. The “Warrior on Horse” statue sits a top a large water fountain that produces a mini Vegas-esque water/light show. Quite pretty, but not worth the 8 billion dinar (about 800 million dollars) they spent on making it. 

Skopje is also the birthplace of Mother Teresa. In the middle of a large side square, half covered by a souvenir cart, there are four bronze “L’s” on the ground in a square pattern; these mark the house Mother Teresa’s lived in until 18. When she was 18, she immediately signed up for a nunnery and began her lifelong servitude to God and helping people. She was selected to teach at a private school in Darjeeling, India a few years after she became a nun. But while she was there, she noticed all the homeless youth and the terrible conditions of the Indian people, so she asked the Vatican permission for the diocesan congregation in Calcutta, which would become the Missionaries of Charity. Mother Teresa spent her whole life helping the less fortunate, mostly in Calcutta. She was announced as a Saint 3 years after she passed away and she won the Nobel Peace Prize for all her good deeds. 

Skopje also has a Fort, although basically the walls are the only thing that remain today, which we found out after walking up the hill to see the Fort, and the 2nd largest souk (bazaar) in the the world. Streets weaving into other streets all filled with little shops selling pretty much everything. Unlike Istanbul’s Grand Bazaar (and the biggest in the world), this souk is all out doors with cobblestone walkways and sunlight. Everyone on the tour wandered it for a bit the night before while we looked for a nice dinner spot and found a tasty place serving cevapi (rolled meat sausages) that everyone but Robby and I enjoyed, cheese bread, and nicely grilled chicken. It was a relaxing evening with everyone chatting, drinking, and eating merrily. 

The history of Belgrade and Zemun

Today was the day we got to meet the people on our tour. Since the Balkans make up so many different countries that all have their own languages, histories, currencies, and customs, I thought that it would be kind of complicated to try and navigate the cities, buses, and borders without a little help. After researching how to get around on our own and realizing that bus stops were, “past the red building, down one block, and next to the rock”, I realized that we would waste about 4-5 days on just traveling to places if we tried to do this 30 day trip without help. With a tour company, we could get to some of the out of the way touristic sites that a non-tour traveler would have to catch 2-3 different public buses to, in about a 3rd the time. Plus, a tour company would know how to handle all the border crossings efficiently and quickly and have helpful cultural and culinary knowledge for all the cities we’d be going to.

I spent about 4 months researching various tour companies, going a little OCD with all my numerous spread sheets, before booking Borderlands Travel. The company is owned and run by Louise, a British woman who fell in love with the Balkans after traveling here about 7 years ago and whom decided to share her passion for former Yugoslavia with the rest of the world. Our tour will take us through 9 countries with 5 other people, so there’s only 7 of us in total (well, 9 if you include Louise and the van driver) along for this 15 day adventure. So out of all the tour companies, Borderlands seemed awesome because the tour is a mix of full day sightseeing trips mixed with free days to wander cities while all the hotels, border crossings, and transportation is taken care of. Plus Louise speaks perfect English, unlike a lot of the tour companies based in the Balkans. 

But before we got to meet our fellow tour acquaintances, we had to pack up all our crap (we tend to have our suitcases explode all over the bed and floor every time we step foot in a hotel room), and hike a mile up and over the hill from our current hostel to our new hotel. We ditched the bags in hotel storage and headed off to the Nikola Tesla museum. We left about 50 minutes to walk about 1.2kms and get coffee, but with our shitty sense of direction and inability to read a map without being properly caffeinated, we took 45 minutes of wandering in circles before arriving 5 minutes before the museum tour started - so no coffee for me. 😩

The Tesla museum showed us an interesting 15 minute video on Tesla’s life - in short he grew up in Serbia with a supportive family who realized early on that he was a genius and encouraged him to work on his weird inventions. He went to school in Prague and tried to convince people in Europe to use alternating current for power, but no one wanted to change what they knew worked for something that sounded absurd, so Tesla ended up in New York being an apprentice to Thomas Edison. They were both A-type personalities, so inevitably they ended up competing against each other to convince the world on who’s power source was better - Edison with his currently used DC, or Tesla with his previously thought to be unattainable AC. Tesla won the War of the Currents with the help of investor and inventor George Westinghouse, whom had also been feuding with Edison.

The museum guide showed us a few of Tesla’s early inventions and demonstrated how the Tesla coils - the giant balls of lightening hitting a metal ball seen in old films - worked. He told us that for the first Star Wars film, they didn’t have electricity in the light sabers (no batteries back then), so the actors held long tube lights which were powered by a Tesla coil that expelled harmless energy to the actors, who were the energy conductors, and the “sabers” lit up.

With a few hours to kill before officially meeting the other people on our tour for our welcome dinner, we did a little illegal bus riding to the town of Zemun. We tried to pay the drivers on 2 separate buses, but they blatantly ignored us, so we just sat in the back and hoped no one asked to see our tickets. Apparently you are suppose to pre buy bus tickets at the numerous water kiosks around town. 

For Zemun, a small fishing village, I had read that we needed to catch a bus from a station near a park. We got semi directions on what bus went to the park, but as we were riding said bus, we passed the park. I shrugged my shoulders and said we’d get off at the next stop and catch the bus back to the last stop and then walk to the park, but our current bus decided to go across a long bridge and the park got very small. We did get off at the next stop, but immediately a new bus showed up and the sign said, “Zemun”, so we just hopped on and hoped the bus went to the part of town we wanted. It did, but only after we took it to the very end of the line - basically a water stand and some creepy communistic looking apartment complex’s next to dirt fields, and had to take the same bus back 7 stops.

We wandered the back alleys and pedestrian only shopping streets (apparently all cities in Serbia thus far have had a section where people can shop without fear of being run over by the crazy drivers) before hiking up a crazy amount of stairs to the Millennium Tower. Zemun is most know for a large hill called Gardos in the urban neighborhood of Gardos that houses the Gardos (Millennium) Tower. It’s like the Serbs gave up on naming things. The Tower was built in 1896 to celebrate a 100 years of Hungarian settlement in Central Europe. It held a lovely view of the Danbue River and the red terra cotta roof buildings of town. 

With 2 more hours to kill before the meeting time, we went back to Belgrade and wandered around the Belgrade Fortress located inside Kalemegdan Park. The Fortress sits atop a hill over looking the Sava and Danube rivers- they meet in the middle, but do not mix. The Fortress has been around since the 3rd century BC and has housed numerous armies; most recently the Turks and Ottomans. Now-a-days the Fortress is essentially opened to everyone 24/7. It’s crumbling walls are intwined throughout Kalemegdan park which also includes tennis courts, a animatronic dinosaur park, a concert field, and a military museum.

I ended up being extremely lazy from walking over 8 miles during the morning that when we were offered a ride on a mini car train around the park, I was all for it. Turned out to be a great option for letting us see an overview of all the things the park had to offer, but terrible for our butts as the narrow wooden plank we sat on didn’t do anything for comfort as we bounced along the cobblestone walkways. 

At 6:30pm, we finally met our fellow tour travelers. All 5 of them are Aussies. Dale, Jackie, and Cindy all know each other and then Mary and Ann know each other. Louise, the owner of Borderlands, is our tour leader and she took us on a 20 minute walk back up the hill to the Skadarlija neighborhood (literally across from our old hostel) for a traditional Serbian dinner in the oldest restaurant on the street. 

Apparently in Serbia, people believe that everyone has 2 or 3 stomachs because the pre-meal salads are bigger than lunch plates. Our prefix dinner was a giant tomato and cheese salad followed by a huge bowl of coleslaw-esque salad, then an 8oz piece of salmon with fresh veggies, and dessert. Plus unlimited drinks. Good thing we were allowed to be there for a few hours. 

After dinner, Louise took us to Globetrotters - an underground pub in the basement of an apartment complex. During the 1990’s Yugoslavia war, people couldn’t really go outside because of the bombs falling everyday, so a resident of the building said he would supply the booze if every resident in the building brought a piece of furniture from their apartment to use in the pub. So the bar is a mix of different furnishings and wall decorations. The building still has actual residents living in it, which was only slightly an issue when we arrived because there’s no sign on the door and Louise didn’t know what button to push so we could be buzzed in. She didn’t want to wake up anyone as it was about 11pm. Luckily the top button, written in pencil, said “Klub”, so we took a chance and pushed it. Turned out to work and down into the basement we went. 

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We decided to take the free city history walking tour the next morning which was semi ok. Kind of like the guide only knew cursory bits of knowledge on every place that we went, but didn’t know to elaborate. We did learn that in the late 90’s only the businessmen and macheesemo thugs had money, so they would hang about the one neighborhood in town with the best restaurants. Most of the city’s vapid, implant enhanced women flocked to the area in hopes of attracting a rich husband, and so the neighborhood became known as Silicone Valley; a slightly different one than the one in California. 

Our afternoon underground tunnel tour took us through 3 different areas under the Belgrade Fortress. There’s apparently tons of hidden rooms and passages under the fortress, but most people don’t know about them because they were classified military secrets or covered by nature for so long that they were only accidentally rediscovered after someone’s fell through a hole in the ground. We saw an old military bunker that was built to protect Tito from Stalin incase Russia attacked Belgrade since Tito was not interested in becoming one, big happy communistic country with the USSR. Luckily the war never happened and the bunker was never used as a hideout, only military storage.

The second place we saw was an old cavern that housed a bunch of grave stones, sarcophagus’, and other old relics. The cave was used as a night club with guest DJ’s and super loud music. People used to dance around the relics and leave a shut ton of chewing gum on the ground. The place closed about 10 years ago because the music became so loud that the support pillars started to crumble. We also saw a Roman well that was neither Roman or a well. Serbians though everything that was built well was Roman and that the hole they found would contain water if they only dug far enough. So they named it “Roman well”; but after 60 meters of digging, they realized there was never going to be any water, so it was used as storage and place to kill people. The last stop was an old cave turned into a bar and then a wine cellar. 

After the tour, we explored the 2 month old abandoned train station across the street from our hotel. This was the train station we were suppose to use to get to Novi Sad, but it closed because a large waterfront housing and shopping development was in the works and a shady government deal included the selling of the land that the train station was on. Now the central train station is located 10kms outside of town, much to the dismay of the Belgrade citizens. 

The old railroad station looked like it had been abandoned for years with knee high grass growing between the tracks and cracks in the asphalt. As Robby and I took pictures I kept looking out for the zombies, as this is the perfect place to film an “end of the world” horror film, but we only saw a few beggars. It was sad and neat at the same time.

After exploring, we had a nice dinner (after climbing the damn hill again) and then Robby had to get a diabetic waffle dessert thing stuffed with ice cream, caramel, Nutella, and Oreos. Placated by delicious sugar coma happiness, it was off to bed for the night. 

Leaving Prague and entering Belgrade

For our final day in Prague, we spent 45 minutes on a train to Karlstejn Castke in the countryside. This castle was home to Charles the 4th, King of Bohemia and Emperor elect. He had 4 wives because they kept dying and he needed to have a wife to maintain his Kingly air, plus it didn’t hurt for him to marry the daughters of his enemies to ensure peace. He was also a sportsman, loving combat games like horse jousting, which caused him to become quite disfigured. He ended up with a hunched back, a smashed jaw, and a neck that tilted to the left. His 3rd wife was only 14 when she married him at 37 and his 4th, and final wife, was 17, while he was 47. I feel bad for the wives, but that was life in the olden days. 

Apparently we got to Karlstejn town so early I had to beg a restaurant just opening for coffee. Not many tourist were there to hike up the windy road to the top and entrance of the Castle that early, so we got some nice photos of the town without people in them. We went on the history tour and learned that the Karlstejn included about 4 main buildings and was mainly built to protect the Czech jewels - a crowd and scepter with very large gemstones, including one that is said to have a piece of Jesus’ thorn of crowns inside. We got to see a replica of the jewels since the real ones are housed in Prague proper and very rarely on public display. Robby waited 6 hours to view them 20 years ago. 

After the tour, we took the train back to Prague central, looked around the all shop-lined cobblestone alleyways, starred disappointedly at the clock tower under heavy construction, and ate caloric waffles with ice cream and vanilla sauce before going back to Pavel’s where Robby and him competed on who could make the best Smazak - chunks of thick cheese dipped in egg, rolled in breadcrumbs, and fried in oil. We ate it with mashed potatoes and prayed our hearts didn’t give out with all the heavenly gooeyness.

After dinner we had to say goodbye to the cute, but naughty wolf dogs, and then to Pavel and Jana for being amazing hosts. We had a great mini trip reconnecting with family and revisiting the main sites of Prague. Pavel drove us to the airport, where we boarded our 1.5 hour flight to Belgrade, Serbia. I had arranged a driver from our hostel to pick us up from the airport because the taxi’s with a flat rate only took you to the main square in Belgrade and since we arrived at 11:30pm, we did not want to figure out how to walk 1 km to our hostel. 

Skadarlija Sunrise Hostel turned out to be located in the heart of the Skadarlija bohemian sector, on the main pedestrian walkway with the oldest restaurants and coffee houses surrounding it. At the hostel’s garden bar, we were invited to try a free shot of rakija (raa KEE ah) - the national drink of Serbia, a fruit brandy that tastes like minutely fruit flavored ethanol. Plum is the main flavor (very gross unless up want hair on your chest and have no tastebuds), but apricot turned out to be palatable. After visiting the castle, flying, and drinking highly alcoholic gasoline, we called it a night.

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I had organized an underground tunnels tour of the Petrovaradin Fortress in Novi Sad, a town said to be an hour and a half away by train from Belgrade. Unfortunately when we asked to get to the train station, which was suppose to be 1 mile away from our hostel, we were told it moved 10kms outside of town. Ugh, but they said the bus was better and left every 30 minutes, so the only issue we faced was trying to find the station. Serbia is a country where everything is written in Cyrillic, and sometimes Latin. The tourist map we had only told the streets names in their Latin form and the actual street signs were periodically posted on the sides of buildings in mostly Cyrillic. Needless-to-say, our 1 mile journey turned into 2 miles due to us going up and down the streets and playing numerous games of charades with the locals to figure out that the bus was up the hill from our hostel and then down the steep other side towards the water.

We bought our tickets 5 minutes before the bus left, which worked perfectly. Unluckily, the AC on the bus was broken, so it was about 85 degrees outside and a smelly, humid 95 inside. Everyone was dripping with sweat and we’d drunken the last of our water walking to the station, so we were parched by the time we exited the bus in Novi Sad. Our tour was at 1pm at the Fortress, but due to the traffic on the roadway, we arrived with 50 minutes to figure out where we were and how to get to the Fortress. 

We asked a bunch of people which bus took us to the Fortress and on our 5th try of miming and fake sign language, we found that if we caught a bus two long blocks up from the bus station, it would go to the Fortress. In reality, it went by the fortress and we had to guess at which stop to get off at. Turns out we choose the back end of the surrounding fortress grounds and had to hiked 15 minutes up the hill to the museum where our tour started. Luckily, Serbians don’t really follow exact times and things don’t start on time, so us being 8 minutes late was no issue.

Along with several college students, we delved into the old military hallways under and along the fortress walls. 16km of tunnels throughout 4 levels were constructed in the 1700’s, but we only saw about 1 km. The Austrian army would employ people with super hearing to be an early warning system for enemies approaching. Soldiers used to train in the dark, walking the corridors and stairs blindly so they would have an advantage if their enemies ever snuck in. Lanterns were not allowed and people would typically train for 2 weeks at a time. Sounds super dreary, plus when you completed training you were given a shovel and told to muck out the stables. 

There is also the reverse clock, a.k.a. The Drunken Clock, that sits at the edge of the Fortress grounds, over looking the Danbue River. It was given its nickname for 2 reasons: 1) In order for the local fisherman to see the time from far away, the minute hand was designed as the little hand and the hour hand was created as the larger hand. And 2) the clock runs via a temperature mechanism, so in the winter, the clock could be 40 minutes slow and in the summer, 40 minutes ahead. The locals said it was bad to plan your Dates by the clock.

Novi Sad has a cute little artist/historian area with pedestrian walkways, numerous cafes, and historical church’s and museums. We wandered around for a bit, but most things seemed to be closed, so we decided to walk back to the bus station, a mere 2 Kms, and pray our bus home had AC; luckily the gods heard us. We found a lovely coffee shop/bar for dinner, that served us a kilo (seriously, 1 kilo - like 15 pieces) of amazingly delicious chicken wings for about $6.80. We could not finish them. After that, it was bed.

Visiting Prague for the 2nd time is like seeing it for the 1st time

Robby and my’s first official day of actually sightseeing and being semi awake was pretty fun and relaxing. I think the older we get, the less “get up and go”, and the more “meandering where ever, for however long”. We hopped on the metro to town (Robby’s host family lives about 30 minutes outside the city) and arrived so early that the shops weren’t open. I guess Sundays in Prague are like Sundays anywhere else, shop owners sleep in or are at Church.

We walked the fairly less crowded streets in search of coffee, my drug of choice at 8 am. After stopping in a cute shop along a cobbler-stoned alley, my fix was in hand and I was ready to explore the gothic city. Good thing stores weren’t open because we window shopped along the stores that bordered the Prague castle; Czech glass and garnets, plus other shiny things called to me, but safely behind closed doors. 

After trudging up the giant hill to the entrance of the castle (I get why castles were built on hills in the olden days, but why are there no funiculars to the top now-a-days?) we were awarded with one of the best views of Prague central - all the red brick roofs and gothic steeples amassed below us. There were real palace guards standing stick still at the entrance to the castle and a mini “old” food village out front serving Prague specialities of potatoes, sausage, and schnitzel. 

Unfortunately we only had about 3 hours in the morning to explore because Pavel was taking us to his parents for lunch, so we didn’t get to go inside the castle. With about 5 miles of walking accomplished, we headed off to lunch and it was amazing. Pavel’s parents made svickova a kledniky - cream sauce over dumplings. Traditionally it’s served with beef, but grandma made chicken just for us. This meal probably had to be one of the most amazing and delicious meals I’ve ever tasted. It was accompanied by wine and coffee and various encouragements to try everything in the liquor cabinet, but after 2 helpings and a giant slice of homemade cake, my belly was protesting. Czech people know how to cook and how to host meals - it’s like they think you will starve to death if you don’t have a third helping of dessert. Too bad I don’t have two stomachs. 

After lunch, Pavel was kind enough to drive Robby and I an hour away to see the Bone Church in Kutna Hora. We paid, not realizing how small the Church was - only 3 small rooms, but the bones were fascinating. Apparently 30,000+ skeletons were dropped off at the Church in the 1300’s due to the Black Plague and the religious wars. No one knew what to do with the bones until the 1800’s, when blind monks decided to rearrange the remains into geometric shapes. In 1870, a woodcarver named František Rint was commissioned by the landowners of the time, the Schwarzenberg family, to decorate the chapel with the bones and create “a reminder of the impermanence of human life and inescapable death”. 4 bone pyramids, a coat of arms, a chandelier, and various other objects now adorn the Church, all created from the bones. Eerie and interesting, but I do wonder if the souls are trapped because their bones are separated.

The town of Kutna Hora is also home to the 2nd most famous Church in Prague, the Church of St. Barbara. The town was founded on the backs of silver miners. The streets ran rich with silver, giving the townsfolk lots of money to construct amazing buildings. This three peaked gothic church, with numerous gargoyles and pointy spirals, started being built in 1388, but was not completed until 1905; mostly due to the mines drying out and a few wars and plagues decimating the workers and the funds. Luckily the town still held the belief that the church would be finished for some generation of their families, so we were able to see the masterpiece. Unfortunately for us, there was an organ concert happening when we arrived, so we didn’t get a chance to go inside. Oh well.

After our long day, we went home, had dinner, and called it an early night.

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Woke up early to catch the metro to Prague central again, but we were stopped at the front door by Pavel - apparently Robby’s brand new walking shoes for this trip smelled so delicious that one of Pavel and Jana’s 3 giant Czech wolf dogs found it irresistible and dragged it into the dirt outside for a new chew toy. The whole heel was missing and what was once bright maroon was now a smudged brown-purple. So instead of catching the early bus, we got to visit the Prague mall. Now Robby has an awesome pair of Sketchers, who knew they made comfortable and actually cute shoes; times are changing.

With new shoes in hand, we went exploring the city. We walked along the waterway that borders the castle and past 2 of the gothic bridges. Since we’d bought all day transportation passes, we decided to just hop on a random bus and it turned out to be an awesome decision as we got to drive through a fancy rich neighborhood with large beautiful Victorian and gothic style mansions. The bus wound up at the top of Stroahov Park next to the old and semi abandoned Stroahov Stadium. It was built for synchronized gymnastics in 1926 with room for over 250,000 spectators and bigger than 3 football fields, making it the biggest stadium in the world. It was pretty much abandoned in the 90’s and is mostly used today as Sparta Prague’s soccer training fields. 

We tried to break into the crumbling ruins, but all the gates were locked, so we gave up and walked past socialist high rise housing blocks and found ourselves just above the Petrin lookout tower and the Stroahov Monastery with a library. The library had a cabinet of curiosities with dead animals husks, some gems, and Egypt relics. The library part with the books was only one room with colorful religious reliefs painted on the ceiling, but that room was only accessible by a super pricy tour, so we stood behind the velvet rope and took pictures with the other 90% of the tourists.

Afterwards, I rewarded myself with my old time favorite Good Humor Twister popsicle (an ice cream bar I’ve been trying to find in every country I travel to, but apparently it’s only in Eastern Europe) after walking down the mountain and to the entrance of Prague Castle. About this time my Fitbit hit 17,000+ steps, plus it was hot and humid, so I really did deserve the yummy treat. 

The last stop for the day before meeting back up with Pavel, was the second tier tour of the castle which included The Royal Palace, the Basilica of St George, St. Vitus’s Cathedral (super pretty and grand inside, I highly recommend), and the Golden Road - small houses that used to be shops and living quarters for the working folk at the Castle. Prague Castle is quite magnificent and I didn’t see it last time I visited Prague (12 years ago), so I was glad I went this time. The city is commercializing everything and all the sites are becoming paid tourist traps. So it was nice to explore the history before it gets potentially farther ruined by long lines of selfie driven, heel wearing, absent-minded millennials.

Pavel is a renaissance man- he knows a little bit about everything, can get you anything, and knows everyone. Being in the know has its advantages as Robby and I were treated to a private tour of the parrot rehabilitation center at Charles University in the Botanical Gardens. Essentially we got to stand in the bird cage and have numerous Cockatoos and Parrots jump on us, peck us, and even have a fight on my head. Slightly scary because those birds have some claws, but equally thrilling when a birdie pecks your shoulder until you come close enough for her to walk on it. The birds are all either given to the center by family member of dead owners or because they have psychological issues like pecking all the feathers out due to anxiety or jealousy. My favorite was Olivia because she was still managing to find a way to pick at her “cone of shame” and get to her feathers. She’s one determined birdie.

We finished the evening with a homemade meal and actually slept through the night, having been exhausted by over 10 miles of walking. Until tomorrow....

Balkans start

I’ve been planning this month long Balkan’s adventure for the past 18 months and it started with a picture of a cave. I had Googled “off-the-beaten places to visit” and Slovenia, the country of caves, popped up. Like most people I know, I had no idea where Slovenia was, so I did a little research and found that it was part of the Balkans: a group of about 12 countries where some were part of what was once Yugoslavia (in Eastern Europe). Since each country is essentially the size of a small a State, I figured in a month, we could see a fair amount of places.

After a bit of research and cross checking numerous blogs and travel sites, I found a tour that would last 15 days and take us through most of the countries where signs are commonly written in Cyrillic and looking for a bus is as “easy” as turning right at the red house, walking 600 meters, and waiting by the blue sign for an indeterminable amount of time. The tour would allow us to breeze through border crossings, see off the beaten towns, and not have to waste about 4 days trying to navigate various public transportations. 

The rest of our adventure will be broken up by 4 days with Robby’s old host family, who live in Prague, and 9 days on our own exploring Croatia and Slovenia. Apparently those 2 countries have become very westernized and easy to navigate without getting too lost. Thanks Game of Thrones.

I had went into OCD producer mode about a week before the trip ensuring that all our tours, hostels, and planes were set. I packed and unpacked my bag to make sure everything fit and it didn’t weight a 100 pounds; the first try was 15 pounds, but after adding toiletries and a few more clothing items, the final weight equaled 28 pounds. Better than the last few years, but apparently I will never be a minimalist traveler. 

Finally, September 7th arrived and we were actually at the airport. It’s weird to anticipate something for so long and then it arrives. That mystical journey that you’ve painstakingly researched and planned is actually here and it’s a little scary because you’re not sure if it will live up to your expectations or exceed them. 

After 2 long plane rides and watching free movies on a 5” screen, we touched down in Prague and were greeted by Pavel, Robby’s host father from when she lived in the Czech Republic for all of 11th grade. I’d meet her host family 12 years ago, when I’d last wandered through these parts. Reconnecting, a bit crappier with Robby’s remeberence of the Czech language, went smoothly, as if no time had past. 

We talked all the way back to the house and through an amazing home-cooked lunch by Jana, Robby’s host mom. Even though we originally said that we would go into Prague central (Robby’s host parents live a 30 minute bus ride away), jet lagged kicked in and grounded us. Apparently getting older means no go, go, go. We napped for a bit and decided to explore the area around the house. For about 2 hours we walked along a 2 line road through two small 6-shopped towns bordered by grassy fields and gentle rolling hills. It was quite beautiful and peaceful. We essentially used the last of our energy making it to the local metro station (3 miles up the road) where there was an ATM in which to pull money and a bus to take us back home. 

All in all, our first day was simple, but just what our tired bodies needed.