Getting our feet wet in the Grand Canyon

Robin decided that it was a great idea to get up at 5 am to watch the sunrise. Robby and I decided it was a great idea to bury our heads in the covers and sleep through the yellow and reds of the morning light. We’d be starting our hiking journey down the canyon the next day at 5:30am, so we’d see the sunrise then. We ended up getting out of bed at 8ish and refreshed and really for our Rim hike. I think we were suppose to meet everyone around 9:30am to eat something and the start the hike, but with 9 people, things never go as planned.

We spent some of the morning walking around our hotel to get the feel of it and then looking over the Rim down onto the red and brown rocks below. The Canyon is basically a giant wind and rain-eroded gully of Sandstone that’s grown to be 277 miles long with a difference of 5,700 feet from bottom to top as the Colorado river whines through its many curves. There is the North Rim and the South Rim that most tourists visit. We were hiking the South Rim, which is drier, but more populated with tourist and tourist facilities (hotels, shopping, restaurants) than the North Rim. The North Rim is only about 10 miles across from the South Rim if you could walk on air or a 4 hour drive around the canyon or a 24-mile hike down, across, and up the other side. The North Rim is said to be lusher in trees and wilderness then the side we were on.

Another important fact is that every year stupid tourist die hiking the Canyon because they think they know all about the weather and the outdoors and therefore do not bring the proper amount of water, food, and gear. During the spring and summer months the top of the Canyon is a lovely 80-90 degrees. As you descend into the belly of the Canyon the temperature steadily rises due to the fact that with the lack of trees to shade the rocks, heat gets trapped in the walls and then it emanates outwards, not upwards. Temperatures can reach 120 degrees at the bottom of the canyon.

Most of the hiking trails throughout the canyon don’t have water fountains and since it is so humid and hot in Arizona during the summer, hikers are suppose to drink water every 15-mins and eat twice as much as they’d normally eat to make up for their lost calories while walking. Most people forget about the food aspect and just drink tons of water that can potentially lead to water poisoning – basically you drink so much water that you essentially drown yourself from the inside out. Without food there’s nothing to offset the your water intake.

During the winter the temperatures in the Canyon can reach freezing levels and many people don’t bring adequate gear to keep themselves warm during the day and at night. Most people don’t recognize the beginning signs of hypothermia (numbness in the extremities, feeling dizzy, feeling cold), passing them off as the effects of strenuous activities and the weather, therefore they keep on trekking as their body slowly starts to shut down its organs in an effort to protect the heart and keep blood pumping to it. This in turn causes a person to get a little light headed and eventually go loopy as their mind can no longer control what the rest of the body does. Eventually their body will shut down and they fall into a nice, long, and final sleep. The park rangers find the bodies thawing a few days later as they make their rounds through the park.

For more lovely stores on Darwin Award worthy deaths in the Grand Canyon, you should check out the book, “Deaths in the Grand Canyon”. Sounds like a disturbingly awesome read, doesn’t it? Luckily Robby and I wouldn’t be characters in the next edition as we’d packed 3 liters of water, Powerade (to replace lost electrolytes) and tons of food. We were all set, if not a little over prepared with all the necessities for the hike.

Back to looking down at the Canyon from the top. It was pretty impressive, but in some ways it was also disappointing. Maybe because it looked so fake, like a badly painted picture with washed out orange, reds, and browns or the fact that I couldn’t see much green amongst all the stubby cactus’s and dusty pebbles. I knew driving out to the Canyon that it was a desert and therefore I shouldn’t have expected to see greens and blues, but I was somehow still searching for them as I looked over the edge.

After eating a $3 stale pretzels from the Bright Angel Lodge store and having waited until noon to for the rest of the group to join us, we started our first hike of the day and the trip. It took us a little bit to actually find the right trail as one sign pointed left and then rounded the Mules corral before coming back to where we’d originally started. Eventually I figured we should walk down, the only way we hadn’t gone and “Vola”, the trailhead. Of course the trail started with an uphill jaunt that had Robby and I breathing a bit harder then we’d have liked. A little worrisome to us considering we were going to have to walk 9 miles of this in two days. But never fear, the uphill evened off to a relatively flat path circling the rim.

There were about 6 viewpoints jetted out from the Trail giving hikers a grand view of the canyon below from various angles. The first two stopping points gave us lovely opportunities to take group photos and to see where we’d be headed in the morning. The Bright Angel Trail, the trail the mules take down and up in the canyon and the trail that Omar, Robby and I would be hiking out of the Canyon, was a light brown zig-zagged line cutting through the red slope of the hill and disappearing over a cliff in the painted wash of the distance mountains.


Us jumping for joy, not off the mountain. Left to RIght: Cody, Nicci, Leah, Me, Robin


The Bright Angel Trail

We continued on. At lookout three Cody sat on the ground and processed to take out 2-inch tall Star Wars soldiers and place them on the cliff’s edge. His oddity started to attract numerous tourists’ attention and eventually their camera’s film. Cody was most obviously to this activity while he spent several minutes setting up the toys in the perfect position for the best picture. So instead of a traveling gnome, Cody has his traveling army of bad-asses.


Cody's Star Wars toys making their picture debut

At 4 miles into the trek my feet started to hurt and the fact that we’d started at noon, didn’t help me feel very cool as the overhead sun beat down on my steadily reddening shoulders. I decided that I didn’t need to prove anything to myself or anyone else with completing this mini hike and hopped on the Canyon tram to the end of the trail to wait for the others. The end was a Viewpoint called “Hermit’s Rest”, that also had a gift shop house designed by some artist to look like a Hermit’s house with a stone-arched foyer, candled-light fixtures, wooden benches and an old wood fireplace. This all surrounded by shiny silver trinkets of over-priced jewelry, brightly colored t-shirts exclaiming you’ve “Survived the Grand Canyon”, and various books detailing the history of the Canyon. We opted for showers instead of souvenirs.


Hermit's Rest

Later that evening we all went into town for pizza and beer before heading back to the lodge to get a full nights sleep before our big hike the following morning. Most of the Mule rider’s stayed up to have a last drink before turning in. Omar, Robby and I decided we were going to take the South Kaibab Trail down to Phantom Ranch in the morning and hike back out via the Bright Angel Trail. The South Kaibab Trail was said to be 6.5 miles down, which sounded great to me, but the downside was that there were no bathroom stops or water fountains along the majority non-shaded step path. The Bright Angel Trail was 9.5 miles, but said to be a lot less steep then the Kiabab trail and with numerous water and bathroom facilities. It is also the trail that the Mules ride up and down and the most populated by tourists because of the amenities along the way and the trees shading parts of the minimally steep path. Both ways sounded daunting, but at least we got to see a different view of the canyon going up and down.

Our alarm went off at 4:30am the next morning. Groggily we got ready for our first day hiking and met Omar at the bus stop, where we hopped on the tram to the start of the South Kaibab Trail. About 15 other people got off the bus with us at start of the trail, but after a brief pause in our adventure to apply sunscreen and use the port-o-potty, they had all vanished. It was a brisk 70-degree morning with the sun just barely rising above the mountain peaks by the time we descending into the gorge.

The path started off relatively flat with a slow, but steady decline. The red and brown layers of rock we’d seen the other day from the Rim were now inches from us and very much real. Up close the colors deepened and added a beauty to the canyon I couldn’t grasp the day before. As the trail got steeper, the levels in the rock wall changed from sandstone to Limestone to other rich minerals. The path descended down uneven rock and wooden stairs, but opened into a valley of whites, greens, reds and browns very much vibrant in color.


Omar hiking down to the ranch along South Kaibab Trail

It was also incredibly peaceful on the trail. We passed maybe eight people by the time we made it to the bottom of the canyon. It was just me and my thoughts and a few sparse conversations with Robby, Omar and two people we met of the trail. One of the people we met was a middle aged, semi-overweight and definitely out of shape gentleman at the head of the trail that turned to me before starting his journey and asked, “why am I doing this?” I told him it was an adventure and that he would be very satisfied when he accomplished the journey. Periodically along our trek we would turn back to search for the man and see if he was still on the trail and not in need of assistances. He’d usually spot us and wave while we breathed a sigh of relief and continued our journey.

The rangers at the top of the Canyon lied to us. As we rounded a corner on the trail a brown wooden shack sat next to the trail in the distance. As we neared the structure I got the distinct feeling it was a bathroom. Just in time too, as I’d drank too much water. Also a relief because we had been hiking for about 1.5 hours and the fact that I needed to pee meant I wasn’t dehydrated. But luck was semi-not on my side. It figured that the random restroom along the trail that isn’t supposed to have restrooms was currently being serviced when we arrive at it. After drinking some more water and enjoying a bit of trail mix, the restroom was still unavailable. Of course Robby and Omar were getting impatient in standing around, so a bush was looking like my only option. Go figure that it was kind of sparse pickings at that particular location and after I managed to find a small skeletal bush and do my business, the ranger comes out of the bathroom and says, “it’s open now.” Funny how that always seems to happen to me. The bush was probably cleaner anyways.


The "non-exsistant" bathroom along South Kiabab Trail.

Just as we made it to the bottom of the canyon, the heat started to get oppressive and I think heat stroke was edging its way into my brain. We had seen a small cluster of cabins from above and thought it was Phantom Ranch. Nope, when we reached the bottom, we discovered it was the camping bathrooms for people who didn’t get a cabin at the Ranch. A little wooden “Phantom Ranch” sign pointed to a trail leading into a mini crop of trees. I would have enjoyed the path more if I didn’t feel kind of shitty. My feet were doing fine for the most part, but I was sleepy and starting to get a headache. The trail didn’t do much to ease my pains as we passed three more buildings giving us false hope of having reached the Ranch before finally arriving at our destination.

Now I have a question for you readers: when you think of a place called “Phantom Ranch” and only know that this is the only place (besides camping) to stay at the bottom of the Grand Canyon, they serve food by reservation only, it takes up to a year or more to get reservations to stay at the Ranch, and that only about 40 people at a time can stay at the place at any one time, what imagine would this allusive ranch would look like to you? Now take your time and forge the image of your version of the ranch in your mind….. You have that image?

Well, my image was something like the El Tovar; elegant, yet woodsy Lodge with a dimly lit bar where one could grab a nice cold beer after a morning hike; cozy, queen-bed rooms with linen sheets; a lounge with a fireplace and plush leather chairs to relax in while soothing Jazz drifts through the room. Is this anything like what you pictured? Well, if so, you’d have been initially disappointed as well.

Phantom Ranch, with its ominous name and singularity at the base of the Grand Canyon is a small cluster of brown-cabined dorms housing 2-8 bunk beds with a small toilet and thankfully, AC. There is a cabin solely housing community showers and toilets and another cabin for the Canteen/Ranch Office. All of this is sheltered from the blazing sun by planted trees giving off the effects of a small sleep-away summer camp.


Cabins at Phantom Ranch

Robby, Omar, and I checked in, but since we were too early for our cabin, so we took over part of a table in the back of the Canteen and waited the two hours for the Mule riders to reach the bottom of the canyon. Robby put her head down on the table and enjoyed a nice snooze, while Omar opted to spread himself out on the floor and cover his face with his Mexican cherry picking hat while taking a siesta. I read.

By the time the others made it to the Ranch, we’d moved into our cabin and were actually quite impressed with it. The beds were very comfortable and the AC was refreshing cool. After relaxing for a bit half the people went to explore the surrounding area, take showers or naps, or just chill. Robby, Robin, and I ended up finding Leah sitting in the middle the river running alongside the campgrounds on some rocks making up a circle. Robby named it “campfire in the water”. Trees shaded the whole area.


Water campfire

It was a little rocky and slimy getting out to the rocks, but well worth it. The water was a refreshingly cool and apparently we’d come at just the right hour as the ranger informed us later that evening, it was the hottest part of the day at 105 degrees. We also spotted the man I had talked to at the beginning of the trail. He was a little worn out, but seemed to be doing ok besides numerous blisters he’s managed to acquire. Omar nicknamed him “Blisters”.

At 5:30pm most of the group went off to a Steak Dinner. The Ranch served three different meals. Steak at 5:30pm and Beef Stew or Veggie Chili at 6:30pm. It kind of sucked that Robby and I had to wait to eat as we’d started earlier then everyone else and we were starving, but it was worth the wait. The food was delicious. It also gave us time to take a nice long, hot shower with out worry that anyone would be waiting. The only problem was that I had to share my shower with two spiders and I found one crawling out of the toilet – kind of like living a real version of the X-Files. Good ting I spotted it before I sat down. Ewwww…

We ended up having dinner with a group of 50-somethings who’d hiked the 14 miles in from North Rim and were hiking the 9.5 miles out with us the following day. The men of the group said they were going to hike back to the North Rim while the lady’s took the bus. Robby and I just sat there with jaws open thinking we were losers because we were tired and sore from our small 6 mile hike and here were these people twice our age just gallivanting around the Canyon for a week and enjoying themselves, not fretting about blisters or the heat or the miles. When did we get so picky and whimpy?

At 7:30pm there was a Ranger talk about the geology of the Canyon by the Ranger we’d seen earlier answering people questions about the canyon in a giddy, jumpy manner that we started to wonder what drugs he was on to make him so happy, but we figured it must be all the fresh air and the fact that he probably loved his job a little too much. At least he was entertaining and we learn that the canyon was formed by the Colorado River and wind, but mainly by years and years of rain washing away the sandstone.

After the talk Robby, Omar, and I opted to say good night and turn in so we could be refreshed for our longer hike in the morning. The others stayed up for a bit longer, but I don’t know what they did as I was out in about 5 minutes. Hiking takes a lot of you.